ive spent too much of my time
telling other peoples tales
this country
the cracks on its
concrete-blown surface
ive bitten too hard
into the mouthpiece
of my bards mask
there are splinters
buried deep all over
my tounge
time to spit the world out !
let me tell you some things
about myself:
i long
to get rid of all my friends
sometimes
so i can wander the streets
of this city
alone
see my heart
displayed in a thousand teletrons
around bunderan hi
its chambers of horrors
the girls ive abandoned in my life
slaving away in white night gowns
pumping pus
into my veins
i will watch them work
sipping tonkotsu broth
in the revolving restaurant of my heart
26 floors up
never closer to tian !
paradiso
sorga di bumi
i will smile
thinking of how much
ive relied on the kindness of others
for my happiness
and how ive never replied
in kind.
this will not be a long story
no season 2 for the weak-willed !
my life is short
and theres been no glory
only a million firecrackers
in the puffy hands of little children
running amok in the pure black sky of my soul
thanks dave eggers !
ive learnt a lot from your verbal acrobatics
however much i despise
you and your mcsweeneys cohorts !
i will re-read couples
and fantasize about all the possible affairs
i could have with girlfriends
boyfriends wives
husbands of friends
and friends of friends
i will destroy my life
over and over again !
but it will be okay
because everything will be in my head
and in the teletrons
2100 meters below
i see no evidence
of alive brain stem
or the careful calculation
of which path to take
stopping by woods
on a snowy evening
where is the the ?
i hate you robert frost !
even your name is cold
and 2100 meters above sea level
a pair of bamboo chopsticks
feel as heavy as
a fatty smoker's lung.
then i will take
the slowest elevator down
into the basement
of my petty
nit-picking
auto-hagiography.
* the magnetic fields, 'no one will ever love you', i like singing this song to myself, especially these lines
 | i long to see how my parents dated eons ago
how they spent their nights with friends
their books, if any. movies, if any
their love, could it be?
the jungle, rivers, mountains, trees
and everything that is green black and
brown, to get them under my nails
sucked them dry let myself sick
to death, poisoned my soul
and women. not enough of them,
too many of them, how many
would it take for a man to stop
to stop and stop and stop
and just
stop?
light sabres to cut down the throats
of whoever's in power now, of morons
roaming the streets of whatever
whenever where ever
without sounding like
a fuckin
jedi
i long to see the future of me and my friends
their families kids enemies troubles sadness
happiness, mostly.
or maybe i just want to live long enough
to carry all those photographs
i've collected, painfully,
to show them to my friends' kids
"hey, you know how your parents got that scar over there? its not motorcycle accident, its lover's quarrel, in my room no less. can you believe that, kid?"
i long to open up extremely and yet sublimely
but hey i guess not only the geekgirl but also me
looking for a way to be a whole nothing but be
ourselves.
i long to write some more but i guess opening up
is a challenge to heavy for me. so i will just
shut up.
|
 | clovique wrote on Apr 29, edited on Apr 29 are we getting old, are we getting old?
i keep feeling like a kid who never understands the world
to my children i will share
i slept with those men, yes, dear
we were everything we could bother
enemies, friends, lovers, strangers to one another
i stole legends from inside their heads
while we laid side by side on my bed
but my friend, this girl
she has the sweetest kiss
love is so delicate
you feel it today but keeping it will make you suffocate
live for now
who knows what'll happen tomorrow?
when you fall in love, deary
said i to my kiddy
bring your lover
you two come over
i'll treat you liquor
and give you rubbers i found in the corner
between nicotine smokes i'll preach
oh, darling, it does feel good, the touch
passion is intoxicating
yet it will die eventually one evening
ready to love, ready to get your heart broken
eager to make love, don't forget your protection
you don't want anything you don't need from the person making love to you
but then again what do i know
the most important thing is to enjoy the game
if you can't handle it don't ever play
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